Am I supposed to strap down my breasts
and force feed myself till I get fat so that I don't accidentally make
some neurotic feel inferior?
-Heidi
reply....
Of course not. Should I remove thousands of brain cells so I don't
accidentally make some idiot feel inferior? Of course not. But I am certainly
not going to whine about being ostracized because I am smart.
-Velvetgoth
Submitted By Twilight:
Yeah. I mean, if my girlfriend can't hold my drink in her cleavage,
it really turns me off. Cuz it means I won't be able to balance the ashtray
on her forehead while I'm doing her. :P :P :P
-The Imaginary Girl
Cunnilingus is next to godliness
-Kali Nichta
That's why I got females :) No dangly bits.
-Eileen, on her new rats
Submitted By Zoe:
*Responding to age differences in relationships*
If they're old enought to crawl, they're in the right position.
-Pariah
*same question*
If there's grass on the playing field, PLAY BALL!
-Ron Cecchini
Submitted By Haydn Black:
There is no way I'm going around every high school in Britian looking for
fledgling goths! - I'd get nicked!
-Bloodstone
Submitted By Thessalia:
It's actually illegal in a surprising amount of states and countries to
participate in oral sex... can picture in now some guy with a map going "hey
honey, see all these places with frowny faces on them.. we're not going
there for vacation".
-Immolo The Goat Boy
Submitted By Sheila Marie:
Indeed. I, personally, am addicted to dick.
oops. Sorry. Wrong newsgroup.
-Xthlc
Alain Cislaghi wrote:
Damn, you filthy dog...let the dead corpse alone ;)
Kay, now I managed to use "dog" and "pig", i need somebody with an
exceptional high score that I could call a "sheep" ;)
Xandraius wrote:
Leave Ron out of this.
Alain responded:
No prob, I don't want anybody *in* my sheep.
-Alain Cislaghi
Submitted by David Gerard:
I, personally, hope they have a good time
and that they don't get any psycho players
that would ruin it for the rest of them.
Although, I must admit...
if, at the club, I see a lovely, fine-boned woman
in perfect eyeliner, an antique violet dress, nice boots,
and fangs,
I will break down in tears at the tremendous fucking waste.
-Xthlc, on LARPers
Submitted by Xandraius:
I'm terribly picky as to whom I will wear as boots!
-Xandraius
Nobility and honor in a person can often get in the way of a good
fuck.
-Xandraius
It ain't MY baby! It didn't claw it's way out through the abdominal
wall.
-Xandraius
Submitted by Nytwind:
This rant has been brought to you by the sport sex and the apparent
lack thereof ;)
-Twilight
Leanan Sidhe, who can't play the cup-between-the-breasts game
-Charlotte Ashley
"Fuck Valentine's Day"
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it will soon fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So here's my story... What else can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentine's Day!
-anon.
I want some of those hearts to say "I hate you" and "A plague upon thee"
and "you ruined my life you miserable little [insert a fitting noun --
like bitch or bastard] and I hope you spend eternity rotting a slow insignificant
death in the pits of [insert intellectual or religious equivalent of Hell]
Bitter? Me? NEVER!
*wiggle*
-anon.
As I said - a.g. Anti-Valentine cards, to send to the Soulsucker in *your* life
-David Gerard
The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons
ordering me to Submit.
-Nytwind
Otterley once thought he was asexual but then realised he just wasn't
getting any at the time
—Otterley
if I had a multipound enitity trying to breach my genitals, I don't think
I'd be online
-Nytwind
zeka secretly replaces Rogue'n'elly's special moment with foldger's instant
crystals. Let's see if they notice.
—zeka
I made the mistake of Falling Head Over Heels For and Having My Heart
Broken By The Impotent
—Thessaly
maybe just sleeping beneath the waves, waiting for the world to need my
libido, kind of like godzilla and mothra, only different
—tori-chan
Submitted by David Gerard and Yosa:
"Damn good coffee."
Personal note. Checked out Alt.Gothic today. Damn fine cunnilingus.
-Edvamp
Submitted by Kali Nichta:
Kali: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Edvamp?
Edvamp: I think so Kali, but if it's called oral, why is it so hard to
talk?
-Kali and Edvamp
Submitted by Carrie:
It's not you deep you can
fish, but how you wiggle your worm.
-LordBiran
Submitted by Eloquence:
Science should build a better sex toy and get me my fucking
coffee.
-ren
Submitted by elsworth:
Stand aside, boys - I have a class B Goth License which allows me to
handle powerful machinery like ... this gorgeous creature here. Good
mooorning. *Nice* boots, by the way ...
-David Gerard
Submitted by Sarah:
There is nothing wrong with BDSM in a marriage! Nothing beats it for
tying two people together and whipping the relationship into shape.
-Xandraius
Submitted by Bjorn Townsend:
She's gorgeous, she's sweet, she's brilliant, she's ... someone else's.
AND SHE WANTS TO FUCK ME ANYWAY
-Bjorn
Submitted by Consummatum Est:
People also like them in weird shapes. "Oh honey let's use the dildo
that looks like snow white and the seven dwarfs killing the wicked
witch." I don't get that thrill either. They have those animal
shaped ones...how many people wake up and say..."hrmm I want a purple
plastic elephant in my womanly goodness today?"
-lordbiran and his pussy mr. bigglesworth
Submitted by Jean Croix:
It's 1am. I'm about to dive into my brand-new queen-sized four-poster bed,
and the phone rings.
Who could that be? I wonder.
Why, it's my ex-girlfriend, come to fuck with my mind.
It's a reasonably early hour, I'm actually READY to sleep, and what do I get?
I get an hour long trip down the seedier, more depressing back-alleys off
Memory Lane. The ones where happy memories get locked in the trunks of
Cadillacs and immolated.
It was a veritable carnival of forgotten regrets, complete with a Director's
Cut screening (fully restored to crystal clarity) of 'All The Shit That Went
Down Two Years Ago', followed by the tear-jerking 'Regret Is My Bedfellow.'
She's got a new relationship. She still thinks about everything that we lost.
Remember this? Remember that?
God... I mean I'm glad we're still friends, but that doesn't mean she gets
surgery rights on my sanity.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!!!
-Letterbomb
Submitted by Katar Shon-Dranith:
Ron, to Dranith: You are a walking penis.
Nate, to Ron: Would that make you a walking testicle?
Rat Bastard: Those two aren't THAT attached... are they?
Rat Bastard (who has an image of Dran walking along, dragging Ron
underneath him.. )
-all mentioned above ;)
Submitted by necroangel:
How on earth do you stand having "In God We Trust" imprinted on every dime,
nickel and quarter in your pocket?
the reply...
Look at it this way, I use this religious symbolic currency to buy my
porn.
-EdVamp
-LadyRhye- who doesn't understand the attraction some men seem to feel
for toothpicks with watermellons surgically attached to their chests.
-LadyRhye
Submitted by Silentq:
so what if you dont
look like [insert any model's name], she doesnt look like that either!
airbrushing! develop a charming character and razor-sharp wit! learn how to
hula-hoop with flaming rings of steel, just dont feel like you are inferior to
everyone else because you werent born with "bedroom eyes" for chrissakes.
-getsu
Submitted by BlackIce:
The maths is easy if you let the computer do the arithmetic.
Most teachers don't make it clear to the student s that they
are not the same thing. Some of the most interesting
maths doesn't involve arithmetic. Like topology.
Very important when you'e working your way thru the Karma
Sutra, you definitely don't want to get bogged down counting the
number of legs in the bed.
-Antonesque
Submitted by fx:
I met a very cute girl once after she came round to my door (my
parents' house) with a survey. She said she was looking for eighteen to
twenty five year old men. I said "Aren't we all?" She stammered that it
was only for the survey, so I said that, in that case, she might consider
doing something more interesting with her evening and accompanying me to
the pub. It worked, too. :)
-Jennie
Submitted by Lady Greycat:
the post...
Are you saying David has a big penis...?
the reply...
Cartoon depiction of 'lust': woman with eyes bulging and crosseyed, tongue
hanging out; four bat-winged penises are flying in circles around her head.
-Ron Cecchini
Submitted by Lord Biran:
David said...
But how could you forget that hot summer night? We even kept
our boots on.
and the reply...
Tell me more tell me more...What was that bondage rack for?
Tell me more tell me more....Did he fuck like a whore?
pussy, manpussy, a fistful of astroglide and it's the same.
-Frossi
Submitted by PainAngel:
what was said...
the channel ponders / the nature of elly's
butt / with it's ceaseless gaze
-kyusaku
the reply...
Yes, it's the ass haiku. And you can change my name from
painangel to scott on the site. Or I'll be forced to hurt you, pinky.
-Painangel
Submitted by Petitebat:
Oh shit! Ed! I forget to strip for y'all! Dammit, why didn't
someone *remind* me?!?
-leanan sidhe (it was a blast)
The Question, from +ren+:
Have you ever been in love? And what does love mean to you?
The answer:
Love is a beatific, golden-haired child... in stomper boots.
-Letterbomb
I don't understand why you even have to justify yours sexual
preference to anyone. Do people give you reasons for their
heterosexuality? "When did you realise you liked partners of the
same sex?" For the love of Judy Garland, give me a break.
-lordbiran
Submitted by Useless Beauty:
I love it when I have a penis on the internet.
*wiggles it around a bit*
"It's so *dangly*!"
-Oddlystrange
the reply...
I like it when oddly molests me. She's always on top.
-Carrie
if it's salty and feels like warm phlegm there's no way i'm
swallowing
-`Una
I'll take this opportunity to say that, yes, i *am* a big whorebag.
Slut-o-rama. Trollop City. Call me Linzer cause i sure am a tart. Yup.
(Yes, that's my *tongue* in my cheek. :)
-Lady Bathory
frossi
(who has eaten brains, tendons, heart, tongue, eyes and loads of other
weird animal bits, but all by choice.) (and no that's not my sex life
:p)
-Frossi
what was said...
he ate cat... [...] He said it tasted like beaver...
the reply...
Pussy...Beaver...It all tastes the same.
-first part unknown, second (funny) part, Pariah
_We're_ naturally odd?
That's nice, coming from a nation that uses condoms made from sheep's
innards. (At least the Scots only _eat_ them.) ;P
-Cavalorn
the reply...
So. Lemme get this straight:
Sheepskin condoms are OUT, but
Sheep cunnilingis is IN ?
-Ron
If looks don't matter, why don't _you_ date your ugly friend, instead of
trying to foist
him/her/it
the reply...
I am the ugly friend
-Edvamp
Would you rather be brilliant and horrendously ugly or unbelievably
beautiful and stupid?
the reply...
I'll take the former. Please.
They invented the internet for stuff like that.
-oddlystrange
Twilight, who says screw the rules, men usually need to see me prance
around naked with a huge sign that says "I LIKE YOU DAMMIT!!!" singing
songs from Bye Bye Birdy before they go "hey wait a minute, there may be
something here...."
-Twilight
If you know who said any of the anons, have any clearups, snide comments, rude remarks,
or want to babble about love and life eternal, email me at Medakse@concentric.net
